i really need to have control over that funny feeling i get whenever i am asked to speak in front of a group. yesterday, i was a disaster! our trainer, charles, asked us to look for a topic on the internet and report about it after 20 minutes. there are 14 of us and i was the last one to report. i didnt have much grammatical errors or trouble pronouncing words but the worst thing happened to me. i forgot what to say. i forgot my topic. my mind went totally blank. i even spoke a phrase in the dialect which is a big no no in the call center. because i forgot what my topic was about, i asked the classmate nearest to me what my opening statements were. i was afraid i might be breaking away from my real topic. i was a mess!!
i hope i'll get medication for this kind of behavioral disorder? hehe how can i cure this..? yesterday wasnt the only time ive experienced a total mental black out..ive had lots of experience blacking out on stage or in front of people. and it's all been embarrassing. maybe i should buy some anting2x or a charm charm thingy. oh well.